By Grace Murphy

How can flowers bloom when your circumstances give me no space to grow
My palms are filled with empty space no love or hate 
And nothing I can dwell or take from 
And I'm not sorry that I learnt to love myself enough not to care 
Because you never learnt to make amends with me or be fair 

I can only give you the truth 
My pain is seeping through anywhere longs too
I can feel the walls of my heart breaking 
I can feel my bones aching 
And If you had any love within you it was forsaken 
I do not write because I am gifted nor because I am inspired 
It is simply because my ghost is endangered 
And requires to be lifted from your strain I carry tonight 
Yes I'll pray for the day I wake up 
And don't hesitate to smile when I see my reflection 

But my youth is longing for a persons protection 
A voice that tells me your aggression is not my fault 
And my priorities are not your emotions for they are mine 
But in all honesty what did you expect? 
A child so little looked after, 
All she knows is how to cope with neglect 

I know you don't care if I can't see the light of day 
You tell me it doesn't matter if I'm not okay 
I don't bother to talk because you claim "Gracie I need to rest again today." 

And in the spring on the beautiful mornings that I could never enjoy 
Every time I breathe I still hear your voice 
That it was because of my choices 
Your demons became who you are 

I remind myself daily that you are not a reflection of me 
Even though I see you in everyone I meet 
It's clear to see you wanted another version of yourself 
A "mini me" I guess 
Because somehow you could pass on your lack of mental health upon to someone else 

And I am not because I learnt to love myself enough not to care 
So I could finally learn what it means to be me 
And not dig down into a ground of toxic weeds 
At last I can breathe.